It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
Randomize
