after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
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