im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
Randomize
