I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
Randomize
