): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
Randomize
