taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
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