I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
Randomize
