As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
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