adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
Randomize
