i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
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