i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
I think I have vodka in my lungs
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
Randomize
