and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
Randomize
