At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
highlight of my day: hitchhiking a ride with random locals. tried to make conversation, asked what they do. driver says "you clearly don't recognize me." turns out i have had sex with him and forgot.
You are officially qualified to graduate from college.
Randomize
