Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
Randomize
