Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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