he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
Its about making memories worth repressing
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
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