Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
Randomize
