Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
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