Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
Randomize
