Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
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