I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
Randomize