i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
Randomize
