are you still at the devil's house?
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
Randomize
