you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
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