I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
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