Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
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