Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
Randomize
