It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
