Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
Randomize
