So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
Randomize
