I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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