I think i ate a live goldfish last night. that i caught with my hand in a kiddie pool. my stomach really hurts.
she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
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