You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
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