How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
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