I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
Randomize
