girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
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