Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
When you have to have Siri remind you that you're on your period cuz you're so drunk you keep forgetting about tampons it might be time to call it a night.
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
Randomize
