Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
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