I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize