well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
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