how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
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