He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
Randomize
