so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
Randomize
