South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
Randomize
