"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
Randomize