i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
wow bdsm is so cute
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
Randomize
