she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
Randomize
