last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
Randomize
