I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
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