where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
I love having hate sex.
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
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