and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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