Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
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