tell your sister to shave her snatch
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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