Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
Randomize
