Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
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