My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
Randomize