Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
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