oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
Randomize
