What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
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