You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
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