I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
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