I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
Randomize
