did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
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