He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
Randomize
