He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
Randomize
