We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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