I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
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