I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
Randomize
