i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
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