I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
Randomize
