First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
