OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
Randomize
