Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
I intend to get homeless drunk
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
You took a bar mat shot.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
