It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
Randomize
