The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
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